he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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