From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I see more hoeing in ur future
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