New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
