We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
