the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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