My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
