I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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