The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
