Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I want a musical about memes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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