"it" just moved
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
