You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
