She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
