I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
