Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
