I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize