North Korea, Best Korea!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You need a sexual gate keeper
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
