Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
