How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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