carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
