I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
sex in a hospital.. check
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
