the condom got lost in my hair
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
