It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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