I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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