Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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