You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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