There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
