At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
being pregnant is like rehab
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
