I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
