I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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