My girlfriend figured out who you are.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
