She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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