He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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