I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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