Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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