alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
