i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize