If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
