Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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