You made me cry and you don't even care
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
