it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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