Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
