she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
