I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
it's like heaven, but drunker
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
