New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
