Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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