At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
