What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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