So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
