I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You need a sexual gate keeper
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
