I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
