So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
