i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize