Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
