What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
