went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
