I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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