i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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