I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
