Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
