Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
