she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
