Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize