Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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