Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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