Swine flu. Run for my life!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
