I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
