the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize