He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
zippers are such a cool invention
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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